The Seven Words You Can Never Say On Tv

by George Carlin

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Complimentary "The Seven Words You Can Never Say On Tv" Ringtone

I love words. I thank you for hearing my words.
I want to tell you something about words that I think is important.
They're my work, they're my play, they're my passion.
Words are all we have, really. We have thoughts but thoughts are fluid.
then we assign a word to a thought and we're stuck with that word for
that thought, so be careful with words. I like to think that the same
words that hurt can heal, it is a matter of how you pick them.
There are some people that are not into all the words.
There are some that would have you not use certain words.
There are 400,000 words in the English language and there are 7
of them you can't say on television. What a ratio that is.
399,993 to 7. They must really be bad. They'd have to be outrageous
to be seperated from a group that large. All of you over here,you 7,
Bad Words. That's what they told us they were, remember?
"That's a bad word!" No bad words, bad thoughts, bad intentions,
and words. You know the 7, don't you, that you can't say on television?
"Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, CockSucker, MotherFucker, and Tits"
Those are the heavy seven. Those are the ones that'll infect your soul,
curve your spine, and keep the country from winning the war.
"Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, CockSucker, MotherFucker, and Tits"
Wow! ...and Tits doesn't even belong on the list. That is such a friendly
sounding word. It sounds like a nickname, right? "Hey, Tits, come here,
man. Hey Tits, meet Toots. Toots, Tits. Tits, Toots." It sounds like a
snack, doesn't it? Yes, I know, it is a snack. I don't mean your sexist
snack. I mean New Nabisco Tits!, and new Cheese Tits, Corn Tits,
Pizza Tits, Sesame Tits, Onion Tits, Tater Tits. "Betcha Can't Eat Just
One." That's true. I usually switch off. But I mean, that word does
not belong on the list. Actually none of the words belong on the list,
but you can understand why some of them are there. I'm not
completely insensetive to people's feelings. I can understand why
some of those words got on the list, like CockSucker and
MotherFucker. Those are heavyweight words. There is a lot going on
there. Besides the literal translation and the emotional feeling.
I mean, they're just busy words. There's a lot of syllables to contend
with. And those Ks, those are agressive sounds. They just jump out at
you like "coCKsuCKer, motherfuCKer. coCKsuCKer, motherfuCKer."
It's like an assualt on you. We mentioned Shit earlier, and 2 of the
other 4-letter Anglo-Saxon words are Piss and Cunt, which go
together of course. A little accedental humor there. The reason that
Piss and Cunt are on the list is because a long time ago, there were
certain ladies that said "Those are the 2 I am not going to say. I
don't mind Fuck and Shit but 'P' and 'C' are out.", which led to such
stupid sentences as "Okay you fuckers, I'm going to tinckle now."
And, of course, the word Fuck. I don't really, well that's more
accedental humor, I don't wanna get into that now because I think
it takes to long. But I do mean that. I think the word Fuck is a very
imprortant word. It is the beginning of life, yet it is a word we use to
hurt one another quite often. People much wiser than I am said,
"I'd rather have my son watch a  film with 2 people making love
than 2 people trying to kill one another. I, of course, can agree. It is
a great sentence. I wish I knew who said it first. I agree with that but
I like to take it a step further. I'd like to substitute the word Fuck for
the word Kill in all of those movie cliches we grew up with. "Okay,
Sherrif, we're gonna Fuck you now, but we're gonna Fuck you slow."
So maybe next year I'll have a whole fuckin' ramp on the N word.
I hope so. Those are the 7 you can never say on television, under any
circumstanses. You just cannot say them ever ever ever. Not even
clinically. You cannot weave them in on the panel with Doc, and Ed,
and Johnny. I mean, it is just impossible. Forget tHose 7. They're out.
But there are some 2-way words, those double-meaning words.
Remember the ones you giggled at in sixth grade? "...And the cock
CROWED 3 times" "Hey, tha cock CROWED 3 times. ha ha ha ha. Hey, it's in
the bible. ha ha ha ha. There are some 2-way words, like it is okay for
Kirk Youdi to say "Roberto Clametti has 2 balls on him.", but he can't
say "I think he hurt his balls on that play, Tony. Don't you? He's holding
them. He must've hurt them, by God." and the other 2-way word that
goes with that one is Prik. It's okay if it happens to your finger. You
can prik your finger but don't finger your prik. No,no.

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The Morning Mayor

KMPH 840 AM The Patriot            Local News Talk for the Central Valley                  www.kmph840.com

10:00 AM - 11:00 AM Daily               This email address is being protected from spam bots, you need Javascript enabled to view it                              (209) 527 8484

June 23, 2008

The Sabatino Report

Editor Judy Sly’s political workshop is on Saturday

If you are thinking about running for office you might give Sly’s recruitment seminar a courtesy visit.

If you really want to run for office face reality and make an appointment with George Petrulakis, who will refer you to Mike Zagaris, the Modesto and Hispanic Chambers of Commerce, the Democratic and Republican Stanislaus County Central Committees’s.

For Petrulakis politics is a necessary business.  Petrulakis pimps political power for his livelihood.  Is this a statement that Judy Sly would deny?

Editor Sly knows better, but continues to hide how the system really works.  Sly is perplexed why candidates are so scarce.  Perhaps, she should look toward the political power the newspaper abuses.

On the positive side, the newspapers inability to elect Weidman as a supervisor is a good sign.

Former Mayor Carmen Sabatino breaks the Bee monopoly on 840 AM the Patriot.

There is no charge for the program at 10.  Tune in and tell your friends.

The District Election map you paid for is on Channel 26 and on www.thesabatinoreport.com

Monday and Tuesday mornings at 11:30

Thursday night at 11:00

Friday night at 10:30

The Sabatino Report

This email address is being protected from spam bots, you need Javascript enabled to view it

www.thesabatinoreport.com

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I was just sent this link. Please listen to it. You will understand what "They" don't want us to know.                            Tux

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                   Mike, let me be really clear about something that differentiates honest, informed, engaged, educated, reasonable and fair minded Citizens from the opinions of the BEE editorial staff;  DISTRUSTING LOCAL GOVERNMENT IS NOT PARANOIA.  IT IS COMMON SENSE; ESPECIALLY WHEN DISCUSSING TAX INCREASES AND ROAD MANAGEMENT!!

                   Mike, please understand, we know that you have a job to do, you want to provide for your family, and part of your job is to protect the interests of an inept set of local governments.  We think you drew the short straw regarding criticizing Ted Howze, and we suspect that you may even feel the shame we ask you to internalize.  But, face it, you signed the opinion, so you are going to take the heat.  Let me explain why I strongly disagree with the opinion.

                   Ted Howze represents the good people of Turlock; ALL 70,000 good people of Turlock.  You know, the ones who pay taxes, and those who do not; the ones who drive city streets and county roads; the ones whose wallets and bank accounts are being squeezed by corrupt governments who over spend by millions of dollars; the Citizens whose tax monies are being spent on bloated government salaries; the Citizens whose services are cut when governments “run out of money”.   When an honest elected official like Ted Howze says that his Council wants absolute guarantees that a tax increase levied against these Citizens is spent honestly, THAT IS NOT EGO, NOR IS IT PARANOIA.  That is a good man faithfully representing the Citizens who elected him.

                   You say, “...it (working for your constituents) must be set aside when working with others for the greater good.”  What exactly does that mean?  Should Howze and his Council throw their tax paying constituents under the bus on behalf of some “others”?   Just who are  the “others”?  Do you, or the BEE, or StanCOG decide where the Citizens of Turlock should spend their tax dollars?  It seems to me that your editorial spouts an opinion that is exactly what Howze, his Council, and the Citizens of Turlock, need to be protected against.  And that is all Howze wants, PROTECTION FROM AN INEPT GOVERNMENT.

                   Your opinion admits, no, it embraces the idea that a pressing issue in our county is “...crumbling and inadequate roads.”  Well, Mike, just how did this happen?  Is it because our governments spent the proper amount of tax money in maintaining these roads?  Is it because our governments were responsible with the vast amounts of tax money they control, and took care of our roads?  Or, is it because our local governments have short changed the road maintenance funding by Millions of dollars every year?  Is it because governments are good and do the right thing?   Or, could it be that our governments did the same thing with roads that they did with the library?  They stole funds from the library, and then asked us to increase our tax to pay for the library.  Now, they close the library and fire librarians ANYHOW.  Preventing this abuse is exactly what honest, informed, and concerned elected officials should prevent from happening.  Howze IS doing exactly that.  He demands that his 70,000 constituent’s money be spent the way THEY want, not the way some distant governmental body wants.

                   You know that great minds often arrive at the same conclusions.  This road tax situation is one of them.  The Stanislaus Taxpayers Association and the Turlock Council came to the same conclusion, independently of each other.  A plausible explanation for this agreement could be that we both actually read the entire ordinance.

The Taxpayers thought that the “final draft” released on June 6^th for discussion only 3 working days later, had WAY too much

“wiggle room” for two things.  The were, 1) who controls distribution of the tax revenues, and, 2) what projects are going to be guaranteed for completion?  The Taxpayers offered our common sense suggestions for changing the ordinance, and they were accepted.   Howze and his Council had similar concerns, and offered common sense solutions, which were accepted  Apparently, the BEE does not see that there were problems with the ordinance, and does not agree with the common sense solutions.  Thus, a nasty and personal attack on Howze appears in the Sunday edition of the BEE.  Perhaps a careful reading of the ordinance would have prevented this.

                   Mike, you may think that I am being hard on you.  Well, you might consider the words you printed, and the impact they may have.  Those words certainly irritated me.  I think you are absolutely incorrect.  Moreover, you trust local government.  The BEE editorial staff may want increased taxes, and or may have a vendetta against Ted Howze.   My guess is that the majority of your readers do not agree with your opinion.

Finally, let me make another thing very clear.  The proposed road tax is not something my associates agree with.  It comes at a VERY bad time.  The Middle Class taxpayer is suffering.  Governments have intentionally defunded road maintenance in order to bludgeon the tax payer into a lousy choice, using a threat; the threat is, either raise your taxes or your lousy roads will stay lousy.  The BEE apparently supports that threat.  It does so to the extent of attacking those who simply want to add guarantees where there were none.

Finally, did you know that StanCOG is using about $600,000 of our transportation tax money, to try and sell us on the idea that we should raise our taxes?  Of course you did, the BEE printed the story.   So, you agree that our roads are crumbling, you tell us we are full of ego when we ask for an honest ordinance, you tell us we do not participate in decision making enough, and you DEFINITELY want us to throw ourselves under the bus of inept government.  Apparently, you do not seem to care that it is transit money that is funding a sales campaign.   Amazing.

You, and the other editors of the BEE, should feel ashamed. 

Thank you, Dave

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